by Chuck Ziemer, RM2(SS)
It was the final patrol of the USS James Madison (SSBN-627), out in the middle of no where on the Atlantic side, and things were slow. Standing watch as the Radio Operator with my Chief (RMC/SS Arrow, AKA Miltee) standing as the Radio Sup, he decided we needed to liven things up in Control. Especially with LT Cotton standing OOD.
With part of our gear in a "loop back" mode, we could cause the "Red Phone" on the Conn to repeat stuff we said in a weird, LOUD synthesized voice, all the way from Radio. Really deep and garbled, but easily understandable.
So right out of the movie "Real Genius", the following was heard on the Conn:
"Mr. Cotton....this is GOD!"
This was followed by several heated moments of Mr. Cotton searching for a hidden speaker somewhere around the Conn. (he opened every nook and crannie he could find). He didn't realize where the sound came from, and everyone knew it from listening in on the Open Mike (Control, Maneuvering, Nav Center, Sonar, & Radio). After about 10 straight minutes of laughing my butt off with Chief Arrow, we did it again. So this time you heard:
"Mr. Cotton.....this is GOD! I want you to stop touching yourself!"
Suddenly, you heard over the open mike, "Nav - Conn.... don EAB's for time!"
I rolled on the deck, racked with uncontrollable laughter.......
RM2/SS Chuck Ziemer
USS James Madison (Gold)
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