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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: Corabelle, How is your Doris? Please give us an update
Think about her often and hope that she is getting some kind of relief...some element of peace and comfort. She has sure had to embrace far more than her s hare of unwarranted misery. Here's hoping that better days are ahead...there's always hope, if you never give up your childlike faith in miracles. You're in my thoughts DEX |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2561
Location: Rapid City, SD | Subject: RE: Corabelle, How is your Doris? Please give us an update
Dex, I called the nursing home in Amarillo a couple weeks ago and talked to the Social Worker there. She said, "Your sister is doing very well." I wanted to ask, "Compared to what?" because Doris might be very compliant, but not the sister that I knew; not the sister who managed her home, and earlier in life had raised two children. Anyway, I asked to talk to Doris, and the SW told me that I couldn't, because she (Doris) was playing Bingo. My heart leaped. Then, I asked if she was playing her cards by herself, and the answer was, "No, a volunteer was helping her." In other words, Doris had the Bingo cards in front of her while someone else was playing them. That's not 'doing very well" at all.
Before Doris was moved from Dimmitt, Texas to Amarillo, she fell and broke the same hip again. I'm not certain if she actually ever broke her hip, or if it was the top of her femur. I've heard it both ways. In any case, she was taken by ambulance to Amarillo, because the surgeon that had glued her hip/leg back together the first time, lived and worked there.
When Doris' son e-mailed me that this was a permanent move (even further geographically from him than Dimmitt), I responded by asking why he had felt it was important to move her. I was upset because I had such a good rapport with the administrator of the nursing home in Dimmitt.
He responded by saying that he had understood, over time, that nothing that he did for her would meet with my approval, so therefore he would not be giving me regular reports on her condidtion anymore, but of course, would notify me if something serious would happen to her. He was not the one that I had learned about her second broken hip/leg from. I had learned about it when I called the administrator tin Dimmitt o ask about Doris, and also request a three-way telephone conversation between her, Doris and I. Mike never did tell me (and hasn't to this day) about the second fracture. He just told me that he had moved her to Amarillo because it was closer to her doctor and bigger hospitals. Apparently, he didn't consider the second broken hip as 'serious'.
Conversations with Doris are difficult, because of her hearing loss, and also because of her so-called dementia.
That's all I know for now, but I do plan on calling the nursing home sometime this week, and see if we can get another 'conference call' between the three of us. I have been glued to the computer with the production of Elmer's book, and have had little time to do or think of anything else.
Thanks for asking. How is your Doris doing?
Cora |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: Corabelle, How is your Doris? Please give us an update
Thanks Corabelle....I think people no matter what their condition, have a sense that people care for them...I think its an inherent sense...They might not recognize you or respond but somewhere deep in their heart they know that there is someone out there who cares about them and is concerned for them. You see that in newborn infants and toddlers. In any case THANKS AND KNOW THAT, You're are thought about. DEX |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: Corabelle, How is your Doris? Please give us an update
Corabelle, Cancer in complete remission. No evidence of recurrance. |
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Posts: 2561
Location: Rapid City, SD | Subject: Strange Dex, that this thread should jump to the head of the line...
...because I did call Doris, and through her Social Worker, had our three-way telephone conversation last Friday.
I would say something; the SW would repeat it to Doris...and sometimes had to write it down for her because of her hearing impairment; Doris would answer, and the SW would convey that message to me.
Here's part of the conversation: When, at first, the SW would repeat what I said, Doris responded, "I can't understand what you're trying to tell me." At that point, Nancy (the SW) would write it down. Apparently Doris can still read, and comprehend what she's reading.
I told her that I loved her. After she finally got that little message, she responded, "Well, that really surprises me, but I love you too."
I asked a few more questions, and learned from the SW that Doris had had a hearimg exam, and her hearing aids should be there in a couple weeks. (We've only been trying to get hearing aids for her for about two years.) I hope she doesn't lose them. She was good at losing things even before dementia. She would always say that,"Bad people came into her room (or apartment) and stole things from her.
We were almost finished talking when Doris (out of the blue) asked me to, "Find Eddie Van Guilder for her because she still loves him."
The SW laughed and asked me who Eddie Van Guilder was. I responded that he was a boy friend of Doris when she was fifteen.
Just for the heck of it, I did try to find him later in the Internet White Pages. I found an Edward Vangilder who was born in 1934 and died sometime in the 80s. That wouldn't have been 'our' Eddie, because he would have been 14 when they went together, he was an airman at Ellsworth Air Force Base, and I don't think they had too many fourteen-year-olds in the Air Force. I did find a couple pictures of him and Doris, which I scanned and copied and sent on to the Social Worked to give to Doris. I don't mail things directly to her, because she may not even open mail - or understand it - and she might just throw it away.
After we finished talking, I went to a website and ordered a couple T-shirts for Doris and me. They will have text on them. Doris' will say, "I'm Cora's little sister, Doris!" and mine will say, "I'm Doris' big sister, Cora!"
Wouldn't it be wonderful, if, after she gets her hearing aids, the world will open up to her, and she won't have Alzheimers' at all, because her (seeming) dementia was merely a product of her severe hearing loss? As, you said, Dex, miracles still happen.
Thanks for asking.
Cora
Edited by Corabelle 2009-09-14 1:04 PM
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Corabelle, How is your Doris? Please give us an update
